by Stephenie Meyer
Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.
Yes, I know you've probably seen about a bajillion of these dang things but by golly, I figured it was about time I put up my own opinion! I recently found a blog (Cuddlebuggery) that, to be honest, kept me laughing non-stop. It can be crude, snarky and sarcastic but goodness is it funny. Well, one of the reviewers recently did this thing called Project Hindsight where she went back to re-read a popular YA series and see how her opinion differed. Well, I'm not going to re-read the series, but I did decide to reflect back on it and her feelings reflect my own. Seriously, I feel as if I could copy and paste it and "voila!" its how I feel! But, of course I won't (I think we've all learned our lesson bout plagiarism). Besides, I can't be nearly as sarcastic as she is when I write (so jealous!) but alas, I'll try my best :P
WARNING: IF YOU LOVE TWILIGHT, TURN AWAY NOW. STOP READING! LEAVE!!!!!!!!!
....I can't believe I actually took the time to read this book. That's two days I'll never get back. *hits self on head* Gah!!! ASLDFKJSKLJEFSLKE!
Okay, I'll freely admit that I loved (yeah, you read that right) Twilight when I first read it. Okay, love isn't a strong enough word. Devoured (tehe) is more like it! My sister actually owned these books before they even became popular and handed it over to me saying she thought I might like it. Now, this was before I started reading. When I was younger, my sister and brother were the readers. I would've been a reader (and i really regret not getting into reading earlier) but my sister is rather...persistent? Okay, that's nice. She got downright annoying. She would constantly throw books at me and say "read, read, READ!" and well you can understand that I simply refused. It's one of those instances where someone keeps telling you to do something and you keep saying no just because they are annoying and you want to spite them? Yeah, not my proudest moment, but whatever. However, I finally decided "what the heck" and picked it up and loved it. But the thing is I don't know why! Okay, at the time I read Twilight I had only read, probably 3 other series. The only books I've ever read! I look back on those series (HP, Tortall and Charlie Bone = ♥) and I still love them. But I look back on this series and I just want to throw the book across the freakin room.
*Note: I haven't read these books in a while so I can't remember everything I hated about this book, but hopefully you'll get my point.
Bella. Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella. *shakes head* What am I gonna do with you hon? You anti-social, passive girl with no-self esteem. How did I ever come to love you? Perhaps if you had had some growth and changed into this confident young women I could understand. But you didn't. You see this guy ONE TIME and became obsessed. *looks around* I don't know about y'all, but I don't think that's normal. Except in Disney movies. Insta-love at its finest people! Omg......I look back and there are so many times I just want to smack her. Edward treats her like crap and yet she still bows down at his feet. Okay, I'm not a crazy feminist or something, but this book brings it out in me. If a guy ever treated me like that I would a) do the good thing and just ignore him and never talk to him. He's not worthy of the awesomeness that is me (I never said I was modest :P). Or b) I'm turn around and smack the crap outta that boy! Okay, I probably would just forget "a)" and go straight to plan "b)"Goodness, if someone ever treated my like that I would give a lashing to them. Yet she just turns around and sucks it up and does everything in her power to be with him. He told you that he's not good for you and that you should't like him and even tries to prevent you from liking him and you still go after him. I really think she's missing the hint. It's not like it was exactly "subtle". Fine, you know what? She's never fallen for someone and I guess first love can be all "googly eyes" so I'll be nice and give her a break. Or else I would have if the guy she fell in love with was, ya know, not a sparkly stalker.
Edward: He sparkles. 'Nuff said.
Okay, I'll give you more explanation that that. His sparkly self isn't even what really turns me off now that I look back. It's the fact that HE'S A FREAKIN STALKER! What is wrong with people that think breaking into a room and watching someone sleep is normal?!? I would've maced the guy! Which, now that I think about it probably wouldn't work with him being a vamp and all but you get my point. Watching people sleep is not in any shape or form "normal". Okay, now back the the sparkles. I feel like when I say he sparkles, I should add jazz hands or something.
Look, she even sparkles like him!!!!!!!
So, when I first read that he sparkled, I was like "okay, every girl like things that sparkle right?" and I thought it was pretty unique. However, as I've come to learn, I'd much rather have the blood-sucking, kick-butt vamps over sparkly men any day. Oh, yeah, another testament to his character - when he tells her he wants to eat her but won't. *whew* crisis averted!
One thing I do remember liking about this series? The Cullens. They were so nice! Especially Alice! However, I definitely could have done without Jasper. But, I don't really remember too much about them so I guess that says something. Ugh....
Um...to be honest I don't even remember what happened during this book. XD Some crazy vamp thinks Bella smells good and a chase ensues! Yeah, you'd think there was a lot of action but no. I remember the book glossing over all the good stuff. Seriously, at the end, I was psyched! I was like "yes, finally some action instead of teenage angst!" *happy dance*....disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. It was all this build-up and then *BAM* conflict resolved...*looks around* um...am I the only one missing something? I mean, there was a little action, but there could've been so much more! Ugh...Oh well.
And don't even get me started on the writing! Well, too late now. ITS CHEESY! Like seriously cheesy. If someone ever said some of that stuff to me, it would be almost impossible not to just burst out laughing. Oh, I'd feel really bad afterwards but I just couldn't help myself. The thing is, it's not even the "aww that was kinda corny/cheesy but cute" sort of cheesy. No, this was just plain cheesey.
Look, I know there are a ton a people out there who absolutely adored this book but now that I look back, I can't even fathom why. To be honest, I could go on and on but I decided to try and shorten it as much as possible while still getting my point across (I think I accomplished it...sort of?). Bella is an absolutely passive and annoying and dependent and just plain crazy. Edward is a stalker. Do I really even need to give another reason?! And the plot was lacking...a lot. I can't believe I wasted my time! No, scratch that. I can't believe I actually liked it.
*takes self to mental hospital*