Friday, May 25, 2012

A look back on Twilight (Twilight #1) by Stephenie Meyer

Twilight (Twilight #1)
by Stephenie Meyer
Pages: 498
Source: Borrowed
Format: Paperback

Rating: Okay

Goodreads Synopsis: 

Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.

My Review:

Yes, I know you've probably seen about a bajillion of these dang things but by golly, I figured it was about time I put up my own opinion! I recently found a blog (Cuddlebuggery) that, to be honest, kept me laughing non-stop. It can be crude, snarky and sarcastic but goodness is it funny. Well, one of the reviewers recently did this thing called Project Hindsight where she went back to re-read a popular YA series and see how her opinion differed. Well, I'm not going to re-read the series, but I did decide to reflect back on it and her feelings reflect my own. Seriously, I feel as if I could copy and paste it and "voila!" its how I feel! But, of course I won't (I think we've all learned our lesson bout plagiarism). Besides, I can't be nearly as sarcastic as she is when I write (so jealous!) but alas, I'll try my best :P 


....I can't believe I actually took the time to read this book. That's two days I'll never get back. *hits self on head* Gah!!! ASLDFKJSKLJEFSLKE! 

Okay, I'll freely admit that I loved (yeah, you read that right) Twilight when I first read it. Okay, love isn't a strong enough word. Devoured (tehe) is more like it! My sister actually owned these books before they even became popular and handed it over to me saying she thought I might like it. Now, this was before I started reading. When I was younger, my sister and brother were the readers. I would've been a reader (and i really regret not getting into reading earlier) but my sister is rather...persistent? Okay, that's nice. She got downright annoying. She would constantly throw books at me and say "read, read, READ!" and well you can understand that I simply refused. It's one of those instances where someone keeps telling you to do something and you keep saying no just because they are annoying and you want to spite them? Yeah, not my proudest moment, but whatever. However, I finally decided "what the heck" and picked it up and loved it. But the thing is I don't know why! Okay, at the time I read Twilight I had only read, probably 3 other series. The only books I've ever read! I look back on those series (HP, Tortall and Charlie Bone = ♥) and I still love them. But I look back on this series and I just want to throw the book across the freakin room. 

*Note: I haven't read these books in a while so I can't remember everything I hated about this book, but hopefully you'll get my point. 

Bella. Oh, Bella, Bella, Bella. *shakes head* What am I gonna do with you hon? You anti-social, passive girl with no-self esteem. How did I ever come to love you? Perhaps if you had had some growth and changed into this confident young women I could understand. But you didn't. You see this guy ONE TIME and became obsessed. *looks around* I don't know about y'all, but I don't think that's normal. Except in Disney movies. Insta-love at its finest people! Omg......I look back and there are so many times I just want to smack her. Edward treats her like crap and yet she still bows down at his feet. Okay, I'm not a crazy feminist or something, but this book brings it out in me. If a guy ever treated me like that I would a) do the good thing and just ignore him and never talk to him. He's not worthy of the awesomeness that is me (I never said I was modest :P). Or b) I'm turn around and smack the crap outta that boy! Okay, I probably would just forget "a)" and go straight to plan "b)"Goodness, if someone ever treated my like that I would give a lashing to them. Yet she just turns around and sucks it up and does everything in her power to be with him. He told you that he's not good for you and that you should't like him and even tries to prevent you from liking him and you still go after him. I really think she's missing the hint. It's not like it was exactly "subtle". Fine, you know what? She's never fallen for someone and I guess first love can be all "googly eyes" so I'll be nice and give her a break. Or else I would have if the guy she fell in love with was, ya know, not a sparkly stalker.

Edward: He sparkles. 'Nuff said. 

Okay, I'll give you more explanation that that. His sparkly self isn't even what really turns me off now that I look back. It's the fact that HE'S A FREAKIN STALKER! What is wrong with people that think breaking into a room and watching someone sleep is normal?!? I would've maced the guy! Which, now that I think about it probably wouldn't work with him being a vamp and all but you get my point. Watching people sleep is not in any shape or form "normal". Okay, now back the the sparkles. I feel like when I say he sparkles, I should add jazz hands or something. 

*Jazz hands*
Look, she even sparkles like him!!!!!!! 

So, when I first read that he sparkled, I was like "okay, every girl like things that sparkle right?" and I thought it was pretty unique. However, as I've come to learn, I'd much rather have the blood-sucking, kick-butt vamps over sparkly men any day. Oh, yeah, another testament to his character - when he tells her he wants to eat her but won't. *whew* crisis averted! 

One thing I do remember liking about this series? The Cullens. They were so nice! Especially Alice! However, I definitely could have done without Jasper. But, I don't really remember too much about them so I guess that says something. Ugh....

Plot: be honest I don't even remember what happened during this book. XD Some crazy vamp thinks Bella smells good and a chase ensues! Yeah, you'd think there was a lot of action but no. I remember the book glossing over all the good stuff. Seriously, at the end, I was psyched! I was like "yes, finally some action instead of teenage angst!" *happy dance*....disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. It was all this build-up and then *BAM* conflict resolved...*looks around* I the only one missing something? I mean, there was a little action, but there could've been so much more! Ugh...Oh well. 

And don't even get me started on the writing! Well, too late now. ITS CHEESY! Like seriously cheesy. If someone ever said some of that stuff to me, it would be almost impossible not to just burst out laughing. Oh, I'd feel really bad afterwards but I just couldn't help myself. The thing is, it's not even the "aww that was kinda corny/cheesy but cute" sort of cheesy. No, this was just plain cheesey


Look, I know there are a ton a people out there who absolutely adored this book but now that I look back, I can't even fathom why. To be honest, I could go on and on but I decided to try and shorten it as much as possible while still getting my point across (I think I accomplished it...sort of?). Bella is an absolutely passive and annoying and dependent and just plain crazy. Edward is a stalker. Do I really even need to give another reason?! And the plot was lacking...a lot. I can't believe I wasted my time! No, scratch that. I can't believe I actually liked it. 
*takes self to mental hospital*


  1. Oh my god, this post is totally hilarious! *jazz hands!* And you're right on target with everything. I found myself nodding along with each point you made about how bad Twilight is.

    Me and my bookworm friend were groveling over its *cough* awesomeness when it first came out years ago, but because it was still obscure our other friends just dismissed us for the obsessed fangirls that we were. Now that me and that friend both hate Twilight and those other friends love it, whenever a discussion of it comes up they never hesitate to point out that we also loved it at one point. It's embarrassing and frustrating!

    1. Don't you just love Jazz Hands? They make anything better XD

      Hahaha don't worry, you're not alone! I was totally like that too! Heck, even though I hate the books and don't like the actors in the movie (except Jacob when he's shirtless because how can you NOT like that!) I still went to the midnight premiers XD I know, so embarrassing!!
      Thanks for stopping by!!

      All the best ♥

  2. I saw your warning. I read it your review anyways. And I was laughing so much!! x) <3

    I read Twilight about three years ago before I went into grade seven and absolutely LOVED it like you did -- it was the series that got me into reading YA first, and I've NEVER regretted reading it. I was probably so obsessed with it at first too because I thought it was THE greatest thing to walk the earth! But I'm pretty sure that if I go back and re-read it like you did now, after finding so many other amazing books around the blogosphere and getting mighty-tired of insta-love and too-shy girls and I'll-die-for-you-even-though-I-just-met-you... I'll probably wonder some of the same things as you did LOL! :')

    (Your Reese Witherspoon picture and caption made me laugh out loud -- so cute!)

    Absolutely fun and awesome and honest review, Mackenzie! This was totally weekend-making-worthy! <3

    1. Hahahaha ♥

      Exactly. I think the only reason I even liked it to begin with was because I hadn't really read to many books before it. I only had very few to compare it too. And, although it was at the bottom of the list of books I had read, I still loved it. But now I look back and want to go back in time and shake my shoulders and say "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!" lol
      Awwww thanks. I love Reese! XD
      Yay!! glad you liked it! thanks for stopping by!!

      All the best ♥

  3. I remember really liking Twilight when I first read it a couple of years ago, but when I dipped back into it again recently, having read A LOT of paranormal romance books since, a lot of it seemed very cliche...

    Catherine :)

    1. Hahahah "cliche" doesn't even begin to describe it :P
      Thanks for stopping by!!

      All the best ♥


So what did y'all think? I'd love to know your opinions :)
(P.S. I try to answer all comments so check back often! Also, this is an award-free blog. I absolutely love that you thought of me, but I don't have time to pass it along. Thank you though!)